Dear Promise,

In your literacy narrative you clearly explain how the book The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas has impacted you and what it has inspired you to accomplish. Your MLA format is correct but I recommend that for your page numbers you could capitalize the first letter of your last name and leave a space between your name and the page number. You can also write out the name of the month in your heading and I believe that the order for the date is (due date/month/year). When you state the name of the book it does not have to be underline, instead of underlining it you can italicize it. You state your thesis clearly and you stay put to your topic throughout the literacy narrative. I think you should be a little more creative with your title so that it can catch the reader’s attention. You can also add more background information about the book for the readers who may not know what the book is about and maybe include the time period that the book takes place in. Your syntax includes the right words in the right order clearly. I liked how you explain why reading the book The Hate U Give has impacted you and your reasons for wanting to succeed in school and in squash. You included background information about how you were able to come across with the book. I like how you were able to compare your experiences to the book because you were able to explain how you face them and overcame them. For example, when you explained the characters reason for trying to fit in her school and her trying to change the image of a black person since she was the only black person in her school. You compared your experiences to the book about you wanting to fit in, while at the same time you compared it  back to your thesis. I also liked how you state that you do not want to let your ancestors down which is a reason why you want to succeed for the future. I think you should just re read your work when you have finished typing because there were some grammar mistakes and in some sentences you could have use different words. Overall, I enjoyed reading your paper especially the way you were able to end your paper.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Guallpa